“Life is a journey not a destination.” Yes, I know. You expect to see this on a motivational poster on a cubicle wall somewhere in corporate America. Why is it here? Its presence most likely indicates that I am finally comprehending the sentiment and applying it to my life. For a long time, I have been mainly focused on the destinations of life. I looked to the things I needed to do and achieve without appreciating and hardly experiencing all that happens on the way. Growing up, art was never a viable goal to achieve. It was considered a 'hobby,' an 'interest' and something to do 'on the side.' In a household of professionals, education and a rewarding career were not to be taken lightly. Would I choose the engineering or medical fields as my parents did? I just could not see myself walking in their footsteps. My creativity was constantly present, but it was imperative for me to think of a field that guaranteed financial success.
Eventually, I thought I had the perfect solution. I would pursue a degree in architecture. The field combines the technical professionalism of mathematics and physics with the creativity of design and presentation. Yet, even the process of obtaining my B.S. in Architecture was solely about the outcome. My stubbornness to finish a degree in four years drove me to complete a subject that I despised by my junior year. The only classes I enjoyed during my fourth year consisted of architectural presentation, art history and a painting elective. With these clues, you would think I would conclude that architecture was not my calling. However, my timing was off and I became a college graduate with a degree that I never used.
My way continued to sidetrack when I entered the financially stable and increasingly salaried world of information technology. In a computer-filled world I realized I was a natural at using and understanding computer software and technology. Managers recognized my ability to lead and suggested I consider seeking management opportunities. The local community college provided business and management courses. I took these to build a foundation, and it also allowed me to take a humanities class for fun. The combination of those particular courses, my dissatisfaction with work and the suggestions from an insightful young man began the process of my enlightenment. Business classes taught me all the things it meant to excel at management; all the things that I did not want to be and do. Humanities reminded me of a passion hidden away, waiting for the right time to express itself. Tentatively, I enrolled in a variety of art classes to see what I liked, what I was good at and what direction I wanted to travel. It is hard to break away from a lifelong habit of looking at options only by what can be achieved. Computer graphics and multimedia arts were indirectly related to my current career, and therefore, not entirely threatening to my current way of life. Though soon, I felt a freedom that I did not feel when I went to college the first time around. I could take a class simply to see what it was about and learn from the experience. No ultimate goals hampered the skills, theories and concepts filtering into my store of knowledge. Along the way, I discovered the allure of drawing.
Drawing, in my previous collegiate experience, was a means to an end. Sketches of ideas, working drawings and final renderings were infused with the constraints of structure, physics and practicalities. Through my drawing instruction and exploration into nontraditional drawing materials and ideas, I am discovering freedom. The paper is no longer ruled by triangle and straight-edge. It is not necessary for the image to merely represent a physical object or structure and live only on paper or canvas. As I learn, the possibilities of imitating, abstracting and creating realities are open. Each step I take leads me to discover the art of myself. Learning and exposure to artists, ideas and materials helps me to slowly discard my self-imposed obstructions. Each time I embark on a new project, I am in awe of the creation of it from idea to finished work. There have been so many times when I doubt my abilities, but I end up immersing myself in the act and the outcome satisfies me. My artistic experiences liberate me from my work environment of logic, detail and analysis. As a detail-oriented person, tension fills me as I concentrate with a drawing implement in hand, but at the same time I can feel my mind and spirit relax as the strokes fill the page. The place where these contrasting emotions intertwine is where I envision my Art is waiting. I am learning to look at the world in a different way. At the same time I am finding a means to respond to the world through art. The life and learning ahead of me excites me. Not because of the completion of another degree, but because of the adventures that await me on the journey that lies ahead.
